Sea of Kayos

The day started out innocently enough. Isabelle created this poignant depiction of our home life and gave it to me while I slurped my coffee at the computer...She is flying overhead (bouncing off the walls), Zoe is on her "keister" reading, Camille is to my right stealing chocolate out of the pantry, Jude is screaming his head off, and Simon is in the lower left hand corner putting a potato in the toilet. The picture reads, "It's like I'm in a Sea of Kayas (chaos)...thank God for the drainer." Not too far from reality, and we all enjoyed laughing at ourselves as we ate our multi-colored (food coloring) oatmeal. Within hours, however, it had all gone terribly wrong.
It's a funny story, really....picture here Cheri Oteri with wild hair and smeared lipstick. I'm finally getting my shower in this morning--late--Jude is in Zoe's arms, Isabelle and Camille are doing something crafty, and Simon, well. Apparently while I was showering, Simon climbed up on the counter and decided to deficate. The little girls come running in screaming that they can't go in the kitchen now that there is poop on the counter. I'm sort of in panic mode, because the hair is full of shampoo, and you know I have a lot of it. I problem solve and ask Zoe to go in the kitchen just to make sure Simon doesn't smear the poop everywhere in an effort to "clean up." Thankfully, when I make my wet slippery way out to the kitchen he is frozen in time by his turd. I ask him, "do we go poo poo on the counter, Simon?" What a stupid question.
"Yes," he replies, very accurately.
"No, Simon, we poop in the bathroom, and it's right there," I say pointing emphatically toward the door.
"I pooped that, right there," he states, in the cutest little voice ever.
So, the moral of this story is, it's too early to go off the Lexapro.
I have to share the craziness of my life, because the laughter gleaned from it redeems it for me. I'm not saying I had five children to create blog fodder or have good stories at parties, but whatever works. Stay tuned for when I decide to home school...

Shenanigans

I haven't posted in months and months...had a lot to say and didn't know if I should say it or if anyone would want to read it. I'm inspired this morning, however, as I upload pictures my oldest took of her 3 year-old brother in full adjusting-to-big-brotherhood shenanigans. One is of him standing on the kitchen table drinking from the milk jug---naked. The other is straight out of Abu Grab, laying on the living room floor with a small garbage pail on his head---naked. The only one I can post and not get arrested is of him dressed in his sister's soccer socks, plaid shorts, blue animal print leo and a Bob the Builder potty seat on his head. Oh, and shaving cream on his face. All of these activities were wholesome entertainment while I was nursing Kabob or changing his diaper or (gasp) on the computer.
It's funny that it took arriving at utter chaos for me to finally feel "settled" about the number of children I have. But I'm there, Baby. Yesterday while nursing Kabob in a parking lot after attempting a run at Ulta with all five kids, said 3 year-old hucked a yogurt at his sister and there began a cascade of events that have me questioning my sanity. First, the rushing around the van, all doors open, trying to access the child and the yogurt---I'm still not totally tucked back into my nursing bra, so someone probably got a free show, and still gouging his eyes out somewhere in South Reno. I'm armed with only a container of wipies and I'm piping mad. Where do you begin with leather seats, carpet and yogurt? I just started wiping, and yelling, and wiping some more until it seemed we could head toward home--instead of to Bath and Body Works, aka "Mecca" for my 3 little girls. Did I mention the yelling? Holy Cow, I read that little stinker the riot act.
As we got back on the road, I started asking, "What happened that made him huck his yogurt?" The oldest whispers, "I think she stuck her finger in it and he thought she was going to take it from him." Aaaahhh. So then I'm lecturing us all on everything from packing yogurts, to opening them, handing them to a 3 year-old, and then trying to take them away.
All is well that ends well. We made our way to eat lunch with Papa, then dropped of our van at the local car wash to be cleaned, something it has needed for a long time. Then we shuffled home, Baby Kabob in his sling, 3 year-old prince in his stroller, and 3 grumbling girls. Life is good.